well hello again
as i said i would not write everyday
as if i did i would have nothing left to say
i am now a blue belt.
and something i was told is i need to not focus on what other people say and think about me...
and they were tight
for the last while i have been really depressed because a friend whom i cared about told me i was a fucked up little bitch

yeah...
not the nicest thing to hear

so yeah... im trying very hard not to focus on that.
and i think its working
right now i am in the band room, where i am often early in the morning
it is really cool to hear a scale done in harmony
music has so much more to offer then just pop or rap
try really listening to a good piece or movement
listen to fanfare to the common man
its a cool piece
well I'm going back to theory
peace
your friendly neighborhood shadowstich

life as we know it?

well hello all
i am at school right now working on tuning
yesterday i was out with my dog and i saw some kids from the junior high i used to go to.
it is really amazing how in junior high people are popular for looks and being in the "in" crowd.
now in high school there are so many different groups. in junior high i never really fit in, but now i have a lot of friends and there are always places one can fit in.
i feel sorry for the prissy popular kids who, if they dont change, wont be friends with the right people, and wont do as well in life

peace
shadowstich

well if you havnt noticed this
i have had very little sleep
its because i have had too much on my mind and have been stressed out
im feeling better as i have tought little ninjas for the last while, and i am finaly done prequal
i will be a bluebelt the day after my birthday, aka october 26th
to all my friends... thanks for always being there
soon i will start writing my storys and songs on here soon
if you dont want to read them... then you know what? i dont care
they will be here for those who do want to read it
so i now have something comeing
peace
shadowstich

love

recently i have been thinking about love
and about a few people
sometimes love can be very confusing,
i cant tell exactly how far my fealings go towards some of my friends
yes i love them, but there are a few that i dont know how far that love extends.
well most of you dont really know me anymore, as i dont have time to talk to all of you, and i have gone through a few big changes
one example is my going goth wont even happen on holloween
for those who dont know... i was goth for awhile
it didnt work

yeah
me... and goth
NO
well i really dont have time to continue writing, as i must go think, and i am NOT going to put all my thoughts down here
peace
shadowstich

well im sick, and my brain will not function properly, thus i dont know what to write about
life...
why must we try to be who we are not
i am quoteing a friend "why must we always wear masks"
what he ment was how we pretend to be someone we never really are
think about it
dont be a fake
thats all i have time to write
peace
shadowstich

music

well i am at school right now with the nice sound of music in the band room

i really like listening to instrumental music, especially these days.

why?

have you listened to the radio recently? how many swears are bleeped out? a lot of songs are either offencive, rude, or really lame... come on... how creative is this

this is why im hot

im hot cause im fly

and you aint cause your not

this is why, this is why, this i why im hot

come on...

i cant see any band music being offencive.

when we were little we listened to songs like "milkshake"

we didn't understand it at the time. we were innocent little children

its wrong

some time listen to some classical music, or jazz, or whatever other instrumental piece you want to.

its so much more peace full

well im going back to watching the band play
peace
shadowstich

well i just got back from walking kep
and i thought about how badly we are messing up Earth.
we use too much in our daily lives, and not enough of us even recycle.
we are polluting the area around us.
it is hard to find a Field that does not have some litter lying about.

as humans we do a lot of stupid things
we start wars and fight in them
we work on creating weapons that can kill more and more people
we pollute a lot
we waste too much
do i really need to go on?

http://www.trevorhallmusic.com/music/default.aspx/&in/3

when you have time... listen to it

its a good song

well I'm off
peace
shadowstich

wow i really need to write on this more often

the picture you see is my dog kep

right now i am listening to Trevor hall

some time i will force some of my friends to listen to him





well

i am really running out of things to put



i only have one thing left until i can test for my blue belt

i Finally passed my kicks

and i know all the blocks

for any of you that choose to read this... depression is only a state of mind...

i used to be really depressed...

but i found there are always people who care

this is something i have never told anyone

the reason i teach martial arts

i had a friend who really helped me when i was depressed... but he didn't know how to help... and he told one of my instructors

im not mad at him for that

anyways... my instructor asked me if i wanted to teach, and i knew it was to keep an eye on me

and there is nothing more distressing then teaching little monsters.

i still teach whenever i can

most people don't expect me to have that darker side... as i used to be such a clueless, innocent, child. i was also really optimistic

i still am clueless... and somewhat optimistic

well that's all i can think of... so

PEACE

shadowstich

( Pict says "just because i', paranoid doesn't mean its not all true")

well i just got indoors from walking my dog

i love night time

looking at the stars, and the city

have any of you (if anyone) seen the city at night?

its a sight that still leaves me in awe

partly because i go to one spot on a hill where you can look out at everything

i love singing

and as i was outside with my dog, a green glow stick, and no one around

i sang

mostly Mcfly

and all i could think of was this one song

here are some of the words

cause I've got you

to make me feel stronger

when the days are off and an hour seems much longer

some times i wonder why i write in this

and last night one of my friends said something to this effect

everyone needs someone to talk to

in a way that friend is my output

as there is NO way im putting some things on here

if the guy im talking about reads this

i want him to know how thank full i am for him

and onion boy... if you cant tell its you... then i will hit my head against a brick wall

and to the rest of you reading this

i love you all...

can you email me at shadowstich@hotmail.com if you read this

or send a message to my regular email if you know me

i have nothing else to say today

peace

shadowstich

well im remembering things

a long time ago... grade 7, i had a girl challenge me to a fight

i remembered something one of my instructors taught me on how to avoid fights

he said if you are not willing to fight, and say so, the opponent will not fight you

i said to her "i do not want to fight" and ignored her provocations...

i also realised that day people will swarm if they think a fight will start... there were at least 30 people around us in a circle in about a minute

so what if she called me a chicken

i was smart enough not to fight.

and want to know something else... there was a teacher that came to check on us about 3 minutes after i walked away

i would of been SO dead

no not by the girl

by my mom for getting a detention

i know what i did was right

im not one who pays attention to what everyone says about me

i only really care about what my friends think

i know there are people who feel better by bringing people down

what do i know

very little

but at least i Will admit this

i know i can lift more then my own weight, as i gave my dancing guy friend a piggyback and found him light...and he weighs about 14 pounds more then me

well I'm talking to dancing boy right now

and remembering something

me: what would you do if giant pink bunnies kidnapped you

him: i could take on 100 pink bunnies

wow

i feel really amazing right now

jodie:why do people knock cantaloupes

me: to see if its hollow

jodie: why wouldn't it be hollow?

me: there could be something growing inside?

jodie: like babies?

yeah... we had an interesting conversation

well i have nothing to Say right now

i love you all

bye

shadowstich

Maybe a change will keep me high
Stop me thinking and wondering why

thats something from a song called why

Look at me up in the sky
Watch the world just pass me by
And all my feelings give me away
It's happening more everyday

loving you could be so easy
loving you could be so great

you know what i like watching the world pass me by.
there are times i will lay awake thinking about anything and everything.


one of my friends suggested tattoos/piercings as a topic
when i turn 16 my mom said i can get a tattoo
want to know what im going to get?
a yin yang symbol
i dont know where, but i do know that im going to get that


my favorite song... i have a few...
the song most meaningfull to me is this


Brother my brother
Tell me what are fighting for
We've got to end this war
We should love one another
Oh, can't we just pretend
This war never began
We can try
Brother my brother

We face each other from different sides
The anger burns can't remember why
It's kindof crazy to cause so much pain
Our foolish pride makes us hate this way
We watch our world fall apart
Tell me what good is winning
When you lose your heart

Brother my brother
Tell me what are fighting for
Isn't life worth so much more
We should love one another
Oh, can't we just pretend
This war never began
Tell me why
Brother my brother
YesWe can tryBrother my brother
Yes

Let's take a moment and look deep inside
And say we'll learn to give love a try
When matters differ as we seem to be
There's so much more to me than what you see

You don't have to be this way
Think about the consequences
Turn around and walk away

Brother my brother
Tell me what are fighting for
Isn't life worth so much more
We should love one another
Oh, can't we just pretend
This war never began
Tell me why
Brother my brother

Brother my brother
Tell me what are fighting for
Isn't life worth so much more
We should love one another
Oh, can't we just pretend
This war never began
Tell me why
Brother my brother


now try and tell my you were not moved by that

8 ball

well im bored so im asking the magic 8 ball questions

is it true when we die we go up to the sky: it is certain

do you ever tell the truth: yes

will the world end tomorrow: outlook good

do i exist: my reply is no

am i a ghost: without a doubt

well i must go do my ghosty things

like flying through walls

yay

Casper the friendly ghost

bye

carrots

well i have no clue what to write about

and i asked 2 friends for suggestions

so im going to write about play grounds and carrots

carrots

carrots are really yummy...

have you ever had an organic carrot

they are way better then most carrots, as they are not filled with chemicals and pesticides.

why do we need so many pesticides and chemicals in our food

its not healthy

go eat organic carrots

playgrounds... i have no clue

im really confused

ui really like this one guy, but i dont know how i like him, if its just friendship or a crush

the thing is i dont think he likes me that way

i should get a sex change and party with my gay boys

kidding... slightly

if you want me to write anything... just tell me and i will

well im off

peace out

why

ive been thinking about what i read in one of my friends blogs

he wrote about some of the stuff in the bible

about how those who do not believe in god will burn in hell

i am not religious, as i have had bad experiences in the past.

but think about this

i have been attacked by a girl because im bi. she said it goes against god

think about this. there are gay animals. gay gorillas. so what makes me being bi so wrong

i have had a guy try to ward me off with a copy of the bible

i have had a different guy call me a devil worshiper for the past 3 years

i have had friends preach the bible at me to try and "save" my soul

you know what... i may find religion. but i will not be forced into one

one thing i dont like about religion is that only one is right. all the others will suffer. wars have been started, and people hurt.

my thought is simple

does it really mater what religion we choose? God, or whoever is the true "Creator" will judge us when the time comes. why do we have to judge each other?

now im not trying to diss anything, or say anything is a lie. because i DONT know.

i truly don't know what to believe anymore.

i would learn about different religions if i could do so without being forced, hurt, or shoved away.

but i have to get to work on band stuff

love luck and lollipops

shadowstich

yo and hello

hey

well i was 20 minutes late for class.

im waiting to do things in electronics

and being very bored

why cant everyone just get along

this constant fighting is so wrong

the only thing we cause is pain

its driving everyone insane

i wrote that in social the other day

i must go

love luck and lollipops

shadowstich

just thinking

most of the time i go and say hi to people. how many of them will say hi.

i will be on msn, but i will wait for any of you to say hi.

how long will i be waiting?

maybe forever

but I'm curious.

its a test in a way

but yeah. I'm not sure if i want to know the truth. but i need to.

right now I'm listening to run away train



i promised myself i wouldn't weep

one more promise i couldn't keep



those are only lines from the song





there are so many days my life seems like a song





i don't know what to do

cause your everything that i knew





yeah

i like music

alot

but anyways



ive been thinking about death

what happens when you die?

im really curious.


sitting and watching the world going by

is it true when we die we go up to the sky

well i wrote this song

All the times you hurt me

All the times you lied

All the times you dont see

All the times I've cried

*chorus*

You said it's over, it's done

But I still think that you're wrong

I think that it's just begun

And you've go on for too long

*also chorus*

I dont need you anymore

I'm fine being left alone

Thought I needed you before

Now i'm better on my own

Every little thing you do

Every little thing you've said

So little of it is true

You were messing with my head

*chorus*

You tried to bring me down

You tried to tear me apart

But I guess you finaly found

You didn't know where to start

*chorus*

(end)

think about that

shadowstich

well hello
im at school right now
i dont have time to type
but im determened to type something everyday
peace
i might write later
love luck and lollipops
shadowstich