i appear to be updating more frequently.

how are things going?

Work: going well, im working from 10 pm to 6 am, which is rough. but the work is decent, the people are rad, and i can get a lot done. i'd rather be day staff, but i have been promised hours before and had them cut. and i cant risk that...

love: is actually going super well. who'd have thought? nothing to complane about, and everything to be happy about. i keep expecting to screw up. i keep expecting to get hurt. even though i know him, and i know he'd never hurt me, its still such a suprise that he's different than the guys i have been with before.

family: shitty, i keep being there for my mum, talking to her all the time, which is putting a lot of stress on me, but when i say "hey, im having a shitty night" she ignores me.
she thinks i have nothing to be stressed about...
im living on my own...

my new place: is coming along well, new bed frame, new coffee table. and new computer. still have to finish cleaning....

friends: i feel as if almost everyone is moving away. i feel as if im losing a lot of people...
what am i supposed to do?

oh yeah... so walking to work. which is a 3 minute walk... guess what comes walking towards me... very quickly... make that running towards me... oh my... whats that? hello mr SKUNK.
its bad that my first thought was "squeeeee its so cute!"

pets: cleaned kalypso's tank today. hes doing really well. he seems to keep attacking a wall though... well... puffing up... its not good for him.

bird... flew at me and tried to attack me when i was feeding him. stupid twat bird.

other than that, not much to say.

so its 5 am.
i had to take it easy tonight at work, i kinda have been feeling fainty. and i kinda ended up falling over into a pile of printers tonight.
woo

i realised something tho.
i have the most fantastic boyfriend.

he got up at 8 am with me to take me to the doctors, and heald my hand while i got a blood test.
he was ok with me calling at 3 am because i wanted to hear his voice.
i dont know what i did to get a guy as amaizing as him.
i just wish i knew how to show him exactly how much i care about him.

i never thought i could move on from the guys in my past.
now i have no question.

heh. its kinda weird having such a positive post (well... oter than the fainting ><)

back to "learn to fly"
http://armorgames.com/play/3789/learn-to-fly

so i was reading some of my old posts
and wow i really wanna cry right now.
i realy wish i had someone to talk to right now. but its 3 am... everyone is asleep...
i dont know what to do sometimes.
i wish i could change the past.

sometimes i wonder what is going to happen
and sometimes?
im scared.
maybe kingsley was right.
maybe no one will ever love me.
is that too depressing?
maybe after giving up everything for one guy...
maybe its become hard.

but maybe i found a guy who makes things worth it again.
maybe he makes my world spin faster, and time stand still.
you know... after the last guy... i never thought i could move on, or feel that way about another.
and yet... hes different.
and i have moved on.
and then some.

so im working nights now. just on break. woo
yay working from 10 pm to 6 am
but the pay is good.
although it gives me time to think.


what am i doing with my life
where am i going to go?

i moved out.
im living on my own.

i never thought growing up would be this hard.

i listen to music a lot while working night.

and a few lyrics stick in my mind

"thank you, you made my mind up for me, when youm started to ignore me, do you see a single tear, it isn't gonna happen here"

"the last time i saw you you turned away, i said hello but you kept on walking"

"where to begin, lets start with the end, this black and white photo, never captured my skin, once it was torn, by an enemy thorn, straight through the core, the war was in color"

well back to work.