i dont know what im doing...
i mean i dont know what im doing with my life
right now i am thinking too much, worying too much, and listening to a song in a language i dont understand.
im cold (as always)
and confused
i have a great boyfriend
a great family...
why cant i be satisfyed with that.
i find myself looking at other guys (but i have learned not to do anything)
i find the smallest things can piss me off...
i cant wait for winter to end...
as i suffer sfrom seasonally affected disorder... aka S.A.D...
what does that mean?
winter makes me depressed.
oh new song... its in... french?
yay pigloo :D
i still dont know exactly who reads this...
which is why i watch what i say...
im tempted to start a new one just so i can type whatever i want, without pissing off anyone, or risking saying something i dont want someone to hear...
i used to be able to open up so easily...
but so much has changed
have i changed?
and is it for better of for worse?
finnd me and show me what you want from me
so you think im strong?
how so...
we had the furnace serviced today... whgy is it i am so cold?
and now spanish pop....???
and back to either german or duch???
schnuffle :D
chei chei ch-ch-ch-chei *dances*
*shivers*
why is it i have the least to say when i have the most time....?
fyi... right now i am depressed... i could really use people to talk to.
im having trouble making conversation....
but the entire time i have been on msn 1 person has started a conversation with me....
and it makes me feel unwanted.
SHADOWSTICH

why do i find myself worying about you
still reading your blog?
you have told me in the past you dont want to talk to me, and you think im an annoyance
that doesnt mean i dont want to talk to you.
cause i miss talking to you
and find myself thinking about you
right now your stressed out, and i just want to help make things better.
but i cant, because i dont think you would let me.
a while ago i wrote a song about you, and was going to sing it in a show, but decided not to, as some things are best left unsaid, or said in a different way.
you have helped me in the past. i just wish i could return the favor
Shadowstich

and now finally for a post
for the song "in the morn" i am looking for people to help me with instruments (both playing and writing)
things are going pretty great
tomorrow will be one month :)
finally proving the vampire saliva theory wrong
finally....
took me long enough
i have a sectional at the end of class
which i am looking forwards to.
as the french horn section is awesome

right now im listening to psyco teady
im starting to like the techno pop stuff
like gummibar...

and Schnuffel
awesome ness


yay
right now im in an artistic mood
listening to music
writing a lot
writing music, or attempting to.


dont have too much to say right now.

in the morn

the nights are alive
with the tears children cry
and the days are so cold
cause of stories untold
the shot of a gun
as things come udone
and nothings the same in the morn

things are falling apart
getting shot in the dark
cause theres no one left to save you
theres fear in your eyes
when yet another lie
escapes from your lips
and your hearts doing flips
just to stay alive in the morn

when nothings the same
except for the blame
and the fear that you will be next
to feel the blade
as your life starts to fade
one more life lost
in a holocoust
fading away in the morn

nothing left

nothings pure, cant find a cure
nothing left to do
falling down, hit the ground
nothing left to prove

darkness spreads around
and yet the truth still cant be found
and theres nothing left
nothing left
still cant find the light
only yet another fight
cause theres nothing left
yeah nothing left

running late, full of hate
nothing left to say
this is the end, so dont pretend
nothing left today

darkness spreads around
and yet the truth still cant be found
and theres nothing left
nothing left
still cant find the light
only yet another fight
cause theres nothing left
yeah nothing left

slow your pace its not a race
nothing left to see
take a chance, do a dance
nothing left to be

darkness spreads around
and yet the truth still cant be found
and theres nothing left
nothing left
still cant find the light
only yet another fight
cause theres nothing left
yeah nothing left

take a song, just sing along
nothing left to share
take some time, just redifine
nothing left to bare


darkness spreads around
and yet the truth still cant be found
and theres nothing left
nothing left
still cant find the light
only yet another fight
cause theres nothing left
yeah nothing left