i dont know what to do anymore
it seems like everything i do either dissapoints someone, or makes me unhappy
i was really happy with him, but being with him disapointed my best friend, and a guy whos opinion i value highly.
i was working really hard at physics
dropped it recently
cause i was failing
and i worked my ass off in that class
and got like... 48
and disapointed my parents

its always fucking dissapointment
why cant someone get mad at me?
i dont know who to turn to really
cause i dont feel as tho i can talk to my best friend...
and i dont want to use this to bitch

i wonder if you know how much you messed me up.
or that i dont know if you did
i used to be certain of my actions
now im so afraid i will be stabbed in the back.
i hate how my best friend will:
a)only read this when i ask her to
b) expect me to stop what im doing when she needs to talk, but say shes busy when i need to talk.


i just wish people could be honest to me.
because im starting to be able to tell when people are lyingto me,
but i cant tell what about
so i assume the worst.

and i think i just lost someone as a friend
but i think he was doing what someone else did.
pretending to be my friend out of pity.


im starting to doubt there is a god
because my prayers are never answered.

and i have listened to a song repeatedly

a guy named mike sent it to me

hes really really awesome
but hes 21
which means just friends

which sucks
i hate being 16
because im suposed to be mature, but i cant be an adult.

sorry about the rant
Shadowstich