how i feel

well its Christmas eve
a small dedication to the one person who actually reads this every once in a while

Graham (Canadian Scouter)
your a great guy
and i care about you
im glad i have you to talk to
and you give really good advice (at least compared to my other friends)
i still wonder what happened to you teaching me
you may not realise this, but your blog is my inspiration, and what stops this from being yet another Emo blog
thanks

to the rest of you
thanks for being there
you seem to enjoy... confusing me
i love you all
if your my friends anyways
if your some random stranger then please leave me alone and stop reading this
if i have asked you to read this, its because i want you to know more about me
and i write whatever, and dont care who reads it
so your getting the side of me i dont usually show
im sorry if my open-ness creeps you out
I will try to not be so straight forward with me emotions

heres a bit of dedications for others who i will have read this

jodie
i love you (just as a friend... sorry :P)
i dont hate you, im just having trouble dealing with this right now...
you are there when no one else is

burke
im sorry i called you an ass... im just kinda hurt and confused right now
i care about you a lot
and im sorry if im being a total bitch to you right now
i dont hate you either

stephanie
you are my bff
i love you
although you and i are not as close as we once were i still truly care about you
you are awesome
i love you


Leah
you rock
and im really glad your with Jordan
your a super cool person
and you kill me in sparing...

Caillie
you are our awesome percussionist
your a sweet person
you and your boy make the cutest couple
i hope you and i are friends for a long time

Alyssa
you are probably my closest friend at school
social buddy
im so glad we became friends
i trust you alot


anyone else
i love you

peace
shadowstich the slightly insane

song writing of randomness

stars shining, shimering so bright
against a background of black night
then the morning and the sun rise
leaving us emotional highs

but you cant see the star
shining bright from afar
your anger leaves you blind
so much you can not find

so much is left unknown
the path you tread not shown
leaving people with pain
and nothing left to gain

looking up to the sky
you still cant answer why
you dont know what to say
or why you feel this way

love????

well everything is a confused bundle of emotions
im at a friends house right now
i kinda like this guy
and my friend likes him too..
he likes her
and i have to be fine with it
oh yeah
did i forget something???
i have a girl friend (24 hours ago)
and im so confused
because she will be a long distance relationship
and i dont want a long distance relationship
i want one where i can hold the person when they are sad
feel the warmth of their lips against mine
but no
im not good enough for that
anyone i like here doesn't feel the same way
she is an amazing girl
but
i cant comfort her
i cant physically be there for her
and that's the same way for her
and both of us need that



i really dont know what do do
because at this point im kinda desperate
with so many friends in relationships
and the few "relationships" ive been in...
leave alot to be expected



but yeah
<3
and girl if your reading this i hope you understand what im trying to say
i never want to hurt you
but i dont know what to do
i really wish you were here right now
<3



peace
shadowstich

memories

what happened in the past affects who we are now.
recently i have been remembering... a lot
and slowly trying to understand.
there was a memory i forgot for a long time, about 4-5 years, and recently it came back.
i dont know if its a good thing, but im starting to understand why i am the way i am.
as i am in the electronics room right now, i will not expand on this further.
a few people will understand what im talking about, but i dont know if they ever read this
this is all i can write
peace
shadowstich

random song quotes i love

please save me, ive been waiting
been aching far too long



do you remember when we talked for hours on end
just being stupid but atleast we didnt pretend



tell you of a girl that i saw
i frroze in the moment and she changed it all



promised myself i wouldnt weep
one more promise i couldnt keep



well im gonna dedicate something to someone who says he reads this
and we will see if he does
and he'd better comment



"It's not the critic who counts, not the one who points out how the strong man stumbles or how the doer of deeds might have done it better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred with sweat, and dust and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who spends himself in a worthy cause, and who, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly. His place will never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat."Theodore Roosevelt


i stole this from his amaizing blog
if any of you readers want to check out his blog... http://canadianscouter.blogspot.com/
to my one french horn friend "wanna play MY horn?"

to everyone, im glad your here, im not sure how i would survive without you


yeah im kinda random right now





i love you all
take care
shadowstich

and yet again, no clue what to put
i dont know if i said anything about this
but i used to be bullied all the time

this is a bit of advice for people, if they actually care

i had a friend watch me get bullied, and asked me how i could stand it
my response was "im used to it"
just because someone is used to something, doesn't mean its ok

im not asking you to feel sorry for me, thats not why i write, and if i wanted you to feel sorry for me, i would tell you everything bad in my life.
but thats not the point of this blog.

there is a band concert coming up on the 12th
concert band will be playing Tamerlane, Gaelic rhapsody, and butterfly's ball

my favorite piece is butterfly's ball
it is a beautifull piece to listen to.

im thinking of writing some other songs i have on here, but they are depressing.
do you think i should?

take care all
shadowstich

my heart beats like timpani drums
keeping the time while the symphony strums

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUjtNT8T1xE

great song

well what to talk about
why am i writing in this
i really don't know, i enjoy it
in person I'm really different, i think, then who i am on here,
i think there is only really one person who reads this, and he and i never really talk in person, which, is weird, but on msn im more relaxed, as i type before i can think
like brilliantly telling the guy i like how i feel
the conversation (kinda)

Me: im not dating your bro
him: you sure?
me: haha yeah
me: *insert laughing emoticon*
him: whats so funny
me: dude i cant explain
him: why
me: because that would involve me admitting that i like you
me: oh crap




yeah
the funny thing was....
there is the guy i like, his older bro, my friend, and me
my friend likes older bro, (and now they are dating... Yay)
i like the guy
the guy thought i was dating his bro,
yeah
amusing
at least to me



life
last night i got to spar
and got owned
but owned the guy <3
yeah
that was sweet
and i did a standby without hurting myself


standbys are a flip in the air, land in a break fall

yeah
im usually here early, here being school
because i find this place relaxing
ive never come here to see anyone,
its just a place i come to be, relax, i cant explain it


right now im listening to a song called
city of devils

flying along
and i
feel like i dont belong
and i cant tell right from the wrong
why have i been here so long



sometimes songs really fit how people are feeling

but yeah
right now im typing up anything i think of,
well almost everything
there are some things im just NOT going to put
oh yes
there was a topic i wanted to write about




SANTA
well one thought ive had, is
CREEPY
he sees you when your "sleeping"
he knows when your awake


well hes watching you in bed O.o
that's NOT good

he knows if you've been bad or good

hes watching you
STALKER

originally Christmas had a quiet different meaning
and so did saint Nicholas
but now...


i think you get what im trying to say


well
i dont have anything else to say right now
take care all
Shadowstich

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFmdjvR1bYI

i love this song


and right now I'm listening to "I'm not OK" by my chemical romance

i really don't know what to write about
no clue at all
...
i have electronics next...
I'm the only girl in that class,
its fun, but SO disturbing.
the stuff talked about in that class *shudder*
eww


i dont update this very often
but how many people actualy read this
and do i have any divoted people, checking this all the time
if i do, tell me, and i will write more often

peace
shadowstich

Walmart

and this is just an idea

but im considering looking up some laws, (make sure its legal first)

then go around to walmarts,

and see if we can start a union for them, as they cant themselves.

in class we are watching movies about walmart

have any of you seen them

if not, you might not underttand

but if you have, then you know what im talking about

i dont want to stand by and watch others suffer

so im going to do something about it.

think about it. their lower prices? sounds nice

but why are their prices so low

sweat shops

but what can they do to me, someone from the outside, who will never work there

i still think it should be a class project.

but yeah

if i did, would anyone want to help?

updated

what to say
I'm just going to let my thoughts flow out
we talk to much, and not enough
what i mean is that we talk too much about things that are not important to us.
when it comes to something really important, it can be hard to talk about.
we need to be more open
and less judgemental
one of my friends (E) likes this guy(H), and thinks that another of my friends(J) also likes him, because she(J) put a few jokes on his face book wall, like saying "hi sexy" and "i sleep with your picture under my pillow"
what my one friend(E) cant understand is (J) is referring to some jokes in band class (which was very entertaining) but anyways (E) is now mad at (J) and taking it out on me
which is getting annoying, as she wont listen to me when i say (J) doesn't like him that way


sorry... i needed to get that off my mind.


i have been really happy lately
i don't really know why.
but I've noticed this
you need to be a friend to make friends
last year i was really antisocial
and guess what
i was a bit of a loner
this year i have a lot of friends
so yeah

i really love music
its enjoyable
i still cant understand how people can like rap like the song "this is why I'm hot" and not like any classical music
but to each their own

we focus too much on relationships
as in dating
right now most of us (as in grade 10,11, and 12) are desperate to be in relationships (not everyone, but a lot)
we need to realise that at our age relationships wont usually last forever
I'm not saying its bad to date
I'm just saying this
don't try to rush into a relationship
you may find the right person, and everything will be great
or you might date a guy/girl who you really like and they end up being a jerk
here is a bit of advice
make sure you know a lot about the person
make sure you talk to then at least once a week for awhile (at least if your in school with them)
this may not apply to everyone, but try to be friends with them before you date,
don't rush into the relationship,
for this i will use an example
you are running quickly, as fast as you can, (that would be to get into the relationship) then the wind blows against your back (that could be friends trying to help you but its speeding up you trying to get into the relationship) then you try to suddenly stop (you got into the relationship) but you cant stop, your momentum pushes you forward and you fall on your face (the relationship ends suddenly and quickly)
so don't try to rush things
everything will happen for a reason



yeah
some of these things most people wouldn't expect me to say
as last year, i did try to rush into relationships
and got hurt from them
Ive learned from my mistakes



but yeah
if there is anything you want me to talk about, just ask.


sing like no one is listening
dance like no one is watching
live like each day is your last (as in don't just sit there like a zombie all day)
love like you've never been hurt


(here is some good advice taken from the Tao of peace website)
Let compassion and truth be your guide when dealing with self and others.

peace
shadowstich

part of my story

A boy tossed and turned in his sleep, unaware that he was being watched by blood red eyes. The eyes belonged to a girl hidden in a tree outside the boy’s window. She slowly climbed through his open window, completely silent, using a technique she used to stalk her prey. The only sound in the room was the boys breathing. The girl did not even breathe, as she did not need to. She was a blood sucker, a vampire, creature of the night. Everyone who knew her in life believed her to be dead, which she was in a way. She was supposed to of died from the car accident

She had been rushed to the hospital, but there was no hope of saving her life. She remembered waking up in a dimly lit room with a woman who looked around twenty.

“I’m sorry. There was no other way. I had to change you.” The woman apologized softly.

“Ch-ch-change me? Who are you?” the girl whispered shakily. She was very confused

“I am Sani. I had to change you. Make you a vampire. They are not as bad as most myths make them out to be. Yes we do drink blood, but it doesn’t hurt the human you take the blood from. We don’t kill… or most of us don’t, but that’s the same with humans. There are a few vampires who enjoy killing their victims, but the vampire hunters are aware of them. The sun does not harm us, most don’t like garlic though, but that’s just because of the smell. Our sense of smell is stronger then the best rescue dogs.” Sani sighed “you will not be allowed to let your family know your still… in this world. You will be known from now on as Silver. If you let anyone know who you were, you must kill them, change them, or blood bond them. Blood bonding is making the human completely loyal to you.”

Silver just lay there, blinking, briefly thinking Sani was insane, until she realized she had no heart beat.

The sheets rustled and silver quickly remembered where she was. She looked at the boy. He was thin, tall, and slightly muscular, with short light blond hair. She wondered if he remembered her. Silver took a few steps closer to the sleeping boy, wishing she could just talk to him. She knew he would think he was dreaming, and if he knew what she was, he would probably fear her.



Silver heard the voice and could tell it was another vampire, male, and strong. She swore loudly and regretted it instantly.

“Who’s there?” an uncertain voice whispered.

Silver stayed completely still, listening as the boy sat up.

“I know someone’s here. Who are you? Why are you here?” his voice shook slightly

“Jack. I wont hurt you… relax.” Silver whispered, watching him, hoping he couldn’t see well in the dark.

“Who are you? You sound familiar.” Jack started to stand up.

“Jack.” She sighed softly “I’m sorry but…”

“But you’re only in my imagination…” he started crying “why must you haunt my dreams? Why did you have to die?” jack sounded both sad and angry.

Silver quickly made up her mind “jack I’m not your imagination. Your awake.” She took a few steps towards him, confused slightly. “Jack I’m really here.

“You died”

“not exactly” silver whispered and slowly put a hand on his shoulder, then she hugged him tightly “ my name now is silver. You cant use the one you used to know me as. I will explain everything to you later.”

Jack returned the hug then looked at her “what do you mean you didn’t exactly die?”

“how do I put this?” she sighed “jack, I wont hurt you… ever. I have never killed anyone. Jack. I’m a vampire. I was changed because I could not survive the crash. If I was not changed I would of drowned from my own blood. Vampires are not evil, at least I’m not…” she waited for him to shove her away, but instead he held her tighter/

“I don’t care what you are. I’m just glad you’re here now. I know you wouldn’t kill anyone, at least for no reason.” Jack said quietly “is it true you… drink blood?” he asked slightly shakily.

“Yes, but not often”

“Does it hurt?”

“Only if the vampire makes it”

“Do… do you need to feed soon?”

“In a few days” silver lied, knowing she must feed within the day

“What happens if you don’t?”

Silver said nothing, but shuddered as she remembered what she was told. “When your body doesn’t get the blood it needs, it will go into a coma, preparing for death. Yet you don’t die, not for a long time, you’re stuck in your body starving to death.”

“What happens if you don’t feed” jack asked again, worried now.

“I die.” Silver whispered, showing no emotions.

Jack went very pale and whimpered. Then he slowly got to his feet. “Stay here” he muttered and walked into another room.

Silver sat on his bed confused. Then she smelled the fresh tempting sent of blood. She watched jack walk back into his room and over to her. She saw a small cut on his neck with a few beads of blood forming. Jack sat next to her and brought her head to his neck. She licked the cut, and then carefully bit him. His blood was sweet and slightly metallic tasting. After a few minutes she pulled away from his neck and stared at him “th-thanks jack” she whispered, staring into his sky blue eyes.

“Feel better now?” jack asked, slightly pale. He looked back into her eyes then slowly leaned in and kissed her softly.

Silver blinked in surprise then kissed him back. Then she remembered the voice saying “one week.” She slowly broke the kiss. “Jack I need to tell you something.

“Yes silver?” he looked confused and worried “please don’t tell me I can never see you again.” He begged.

Silver explained what one had to do if a human found out they were a vampire. She also explained what the voice from earlier had said. She muttered quickly “I’ve been visiting your room every night”

“pardon?” jack asked, trying to figure out what her last sentence was.

“I’ve been visiting your room every night for the past year” she blushed as she said this.

Jack blushed brightly and then sighed “you have to kill me, change me, or blood bond me. I don’t want to die, or be changed, at least not yet. Blood bonding sounds like the only real option. What exactly does it involve?”

It involves the human to drink a bit of the vampire’s blood. The human then becomes pretty much the vampires slave.

CAKE IS A LIE

This Was A Triumph
I'm Making A Note Here:
HUGE SUCCESS
It's hard to overstate
my satisfaction.
Aperture Science
We do what we must
because we can.
For the good of all of us.
Except the ones who are dead.

But there's no sense crying
over every mistake.
You just keep on trying
till you run out of cake.
And the Science gets done.
And you make a neat gun.
For the people who are
Still Alive

I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart.
And killed me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because
I was so happy for you!

Now these points of data
make a beautiful line.
And we're out of beta.
We're releasing on time.
So I'm GLAD. I got burned.
Think of all the things we learned
for the people who are
still alive.

Go ahead and leave me.
I think I prefer to stay inside
.Maybe you'll find someone else
to help you.
Maybe Black Mesa. . .
THAT WAS A JOKE. HAHA FAT CHANCE.
Anyway. this cake is great.
It's so delicious and moist.
Look at me still talking
When Theres Science to do.
When I look out there,
it makes me GLAD I'm not you.
I've experiments to run.
There is research to be done.
On the people who are
still alive.

And believe me I am still alive.

I'm doing Science and I'm still alive.
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.
While you're dying I'll be still alive.
And when you're dead I will be still alive.
STILL ALIVE

well im at school again
obviously
right now i am strangely Happy
although i am dreading getting a new wire today as it will hurt
so maybe you will see me drugged on painkillers (only if its really bad)
happy belated going door to door begging for candy day
here's a few things to think about
the only one who can hurt you is you
you are your own boss
depression is only what you think it is
nothing is certain (a bit of a paradox)
this sentance is a lie (PARADOX)
i will be getting a snake
and it will be named

PARADOX
peace
shadowstich

well hello again
as i said i would not write everyday
as if i did i would have nothing left to say
i am now a blue belt.
and something i was told is i need to not focus on what other people say and think about me...
and they were tight
for the last while i have been really depressed because a friend whom i cared about told me i was a fucked up little bitch

yeah...
not the nicest thing to hear

so yeah... im trying very hard not to focus on that.
and i think its working
right now i am in the band room, where i am often early in the morning
it is really cool to hear a scale done in harmony
music has so much more to offer then just pop or rap
try really listening to a good piece or movement
listen to fanfare to the common man
its a cool piece
well I'm going back to theory
peace
your friendly neighborhood shadowstich

life as we know it?

well hello all
i am at school right now working on tuning
yesterday i was out with my dog and i saw some kids from the junior high i used to go to.
it is really amazing how in junior high people are popular for looks and being in the "in" crowd.
now in high school there are so many different groups. in junior high i never really fit in, but now i have a lot of friends and there are always places one can fit in.
i feel sorry for the prissy popular kids who, if they dont change, wont be friends with the right people, and wont do as well in life

peace
shadowstich

well if you havnt noticed this
i have had very little sleep
its because i have had too much on my mind and have been stressed out
im feeling better as i have tought little ninjas for the last while, and i am finaly done prequal
i will be a bluebelt the day after my birthday, aka october 26th
to all my friends... thanks for always being there
soon i will start writing my storys and songs on here soon
if you dont want to read them... then you know what? i dont care
they will be here for those who do want to read it
so i now have something comeing
peace
shadowstich

love

recently i have been thinking about love
and about a few people
sometimes love can be very confusing,
i cant tell exactly how far my fealings go towards some of my friends
yes i love them, but there are a few that i dont know how far that love extends.
well most of you dont really know me anymore, as i dont have time to talk to all of you, and i have gone through a few big changes
one example is my going goth wont even happen on holloween
for those who dont know... i was goth for awhile
it didnt work

yeah
me... and goth
NO
well i really dont have time to continue writing, as i must go think, and i am NOT going to put all my thoughts down here
peace
shadowstich

well im sick, and my brain will not function properly, thus i dont know what to write about
life...
why must we try to be who we are not
i am quoteing a friend "why must we always wear masks"
what he ment was how we pretend to be someone we never really are
think about it
dont be a fake
thats all i have time to write
peace
shadowstich

music

well i am at school right now with the nice sound of music in the band room

i really like listening to instrumental music, especially these days.

why?

have you listened to the radio recently? how many swears are bleeped out? a lot of songs are either offencive, rude, or really lame... come on... how creative is this

this is why im hot

im hot cause im fly

and you aint cause your not

this is why, this is why, this i why im hot

come on...

i cant see any band music being offencive.

when we were little we listened to songs like "milkshake"

we didn't understand it at the time. we were innocent little children

its wrong

some time listen to some classical music, or jazz, or whatever other instrumental piece you want to.

its so much more peace full

well im going back to watching the band play
peace
shadowstich

well i just got back from walking kep
and i thought about how badly we are messing up Earth.
we use too much in our daily lives, and not enough of us even recycle.
we are polluting the area around us.
it is hard to find a Field that does not have some litter lying about.

as humans we do a lot of stupid things
we start wars and fight in them
we work on creating weapons that can kill more and more people
we pollute a lot
we waste too much
do i really need to go on?

http://www.trevorhallmusic.com/music/default.aspx/&in/3

when you have time... listen to it

its a good song

well I'm off
peace
shadowstich

wow i really need to write on this more often

the picture you see is my dog kep

right now i am listening to Trevor hall

some time i will force some of my friends to listen to him





well

i am really running out of things to put



i only have one thing left until i can test for my blue belt

i Finally passed my kicks

and i know all the blocks

for any of you that choose to read this... depression is only a state of mind...

i used to be really depressed...

but i found there are always people who care

this is something i have never told anyone

the reason i teach martial arts

i had a friend who really helped me when i was depressed... but he didn't know how to help... and he told one of my instructors

im not mad at him for that

anyways... my instructor asked me if i wanted to teach, and i knew it was to keep an eye on me

and there is nothing more distressing then teaching little monsters.

i still teach whenever i can

most people don't expect me to have that darker side... as i used to be such a clueless, innocent, child. i was also really optimistic

i still am clueless... and somewhat optimistic

well that's all i can think of... so

PEACE

shadowstich

( Pict says "just because i', paranoid doesn't mean its not all true")

well i just got indoors from walking my dog

i love night time

looking at the stars, and the city

have any of you (if anyone) seen the city at night?

its a sight that still leaves me in awe

partly because i go to one spot on a hill where you can look out at everything

i love singing

and as i was outside with my dog, a green glow stick, and no one around

i sang

mostly Mcfly

and all i could think of was this one song

here are some of the words

cause I've got you

to make me feel stronger

when the days are off and an hour seems much longer

some times i wonder why i write in this

and last night one of my friends said something to this effect

everyone needs someone to talk to

in a way that friend is my output

as there is NO way im putting some things on here

if the guy im talking about reads this

i want him to know how thank full i am for him

and onion boy... if you cant tell its you... then i will hit my head against a brick wall

and to the rest of you reading this

i love you all...

can you email me at shadowstich@hotmail.com if you read this

or send a message to my regular email if you know me

i have nothing else to say today

peace

shadowstich

well im remembering things

a long time ago... grade 7, i had a girl challenge me to a fight

i remembered something one of my instructors taught me on how to avoid fights

he said if you are not willing to fight, and say so, the opponent will not fight you

i said to her "i do not want to fight" and ignored her provocations...

i also realised that day people will swarm if they think a fight will start... there were at least 30 people around us in a circle in about a minute

so what if she called me a chicken

i was smart enough not to fight.

and want to know something else... there was a teacher that came to check on us about 3 minutes after i walked away

i would of been SO dead

no not by the girl

by my mom for getting a detention

i know what i did was right

im not one who pays attention to what everyone says about me

i only really care about what my friends think

i know there are people who feel better by bringing people down

what do i know

very little

but at least i Will admit this

i know i can lift more then my own weight, as i gave my dancing guy friend a piggyback and found him light...and he weighs about 14 pounds more then me

well I'm talking to dancing boy right now

and remembering something

me: what would you do if giant pink bunnies kidnapped you

him: i could take on 100 pink bunnies

wow

i feel really amazing right now

jodie:why do people knock cantaloupes

me: to see if its hollow

jodie: why wouldn't it be hollow?

me: there could be something growing inside?

jodie: like babies?

yeah... we had an interesting conversation

well i have nothing to Say right now

i love you all

bye

shadowstich

Maybe a change will keep me high
Stop me thinking and wondering why

thats something from a song called why

Look at me up in the sky
Watch the world just pass me by
And all my feelings give me away
It's happening more everyday

loving you could be so easy
loving you could be so great

you know what i like watching the world pass me by.
there are times i will lay awake thinking about anything and everything.


one of my friends suggested tattoos/piercings as a topic
when i turn 16 my mom said i can get a tattoo
want to know what im going to get?
a yin yang symbol
i dont know where, but i do know that im going to get that


my favorite song... i have a few...
the song most meaningfull to me is this


Brother my brother
Tell me what are fighting for
We've got to end this war
We should love one another
Oh, can't we just pretend
This war never began
We can try
Brother my brother

We face each other from different sides
The anger burns can't remember why
It's kindof crazy to cause so much pain
Our foolish pride makes us hate this way
We watch our world fall apart
Tell me what good is winning
When you lose your heart

Brother my brother
Tell me what are fighting for
Isn't life worth so much more
We should love one another
Oh, can't we just pretend
This war never began
Tell me why
Brother my brother
YesWe can tryBrother my brother
Yes

Let's take a moment and look deep inside
And say we'll learn to give love a try
When matters differ as we seem to be
There's so much more to me than what you see

You don't have to be this way
Think about the consequences
Turn around and walk away

Brother my brother
Tell me what are fighting for
Isn't life worth so much more
We should love one another
Oh, can't we just pretend
This war never began
Tell me why
Brother my brother

Brother my brother
Tell me what are fighting for
Isn't life worth so much more
We should love one another
Oh, can't we just pretend
This war never began
Tell me why
Brother my brother


now try and tell my you were not moved by that

8 ball

well im bored so im asking the magic 8 ball questions

is it true when we die we go up to the sky: it is certain

do you ever tell the truth: yes

will the world end tomorrow: outlook good

do i exist: my reply is no

am i a ghost: without a doubt

well i must go do my ghosty things

like flying through walls

yay

Casper the friendly ghost

bye

carrots

well i have no clue what to write about

and i asked 2 friends for suggestions

so im going to write about play grounds and carrots

carrots

carrots are really yummy...

have you ever had an organic carrot

they are way better then most carrots, as they are not filled with chemicals and pesticides.

why do we need so many pesticides and chemicals in our food

its not healthy

go eat organic carrots

playgrounds... i have no clue

im really confused

ui really like this one guy, but i dont know how i like him, if its just friendship or a crush

the thing is i dont think he likes me that way

i should get a sex change and party with my gay boys

kidding... slightly

if you want me to write anything... just tell me and i will

well im off

peace out

why

ive been thinking about what i read in one of my friends blogs

he wrote about some of the stuff in the bible

about how those who do not believe in god will burn in hell

i am not religious, as i have had bad experiences in the past.

but think about this

i have been attacked by a girl because im bi. she said it goes against god

think about this. there are gay animals. gay gorillas. so what makes me being bi so wrong

i have had a guy try to ward me off with a copy of the bible

i have had a different guy call me a devil worshiper for the past 3 years

i have had friends preach the bible at me to try and "save" my soul

you know what... i may find religion. but i will not be forced into one

one thing i dont like about religion is that only one is right. all the others will suffer. wars have been started, and people hurt.

my thought is simple

does it really mater what religion we choose? God, or whoever is the true "Creator" will judge us when the time comes. why do we have to judge each other?

now im not trying to diss anything, or say anything is a lie. because i DONT know.

i truly don't know what to believe anymore.

i would learn about different religions if i could do so without being forced, hurt, or shoved away.

but i have to get to work on band stuff

love luck and lollipops

shadowstich

yo and hello

hey

well i was 20 minutes late for class.

im waiting to do things in electronics

and being very bored

why cant everyone just get along

this constant fighting is so wrong

the only thing we cause is pain

its driving everyone insane

i wrote that in social the other day

i must go

love luck and lollipops

shadowstich

just thinking

most of the time i go and say hi to people. how many of them will say hi.

i will be on msn, but i will wait for any of you to say hi.

how long will i be waiting?

maybe forever

but I'm curious.

its a test in a way

but yeah. I'm not sure if i want to know the truth. but i need to.

right now I'm listening to run away train



i promised myself i wouldn't weep

one more promise i couldn't keep



those are only lines from the song





there are so many days my life seems like a song





i don't know what to do

cause your everything that i knew





yeah

i like music

alot

but anyways



ive been thinking about death

what happens when you die?

im really curious.


sitting and watching the world going by

is it true when we die we go up to the sky

well i wrote this song

All the times you hurt me

All the times you lied

All the times you dont see

All the times I've cried

*chorus*

You said it's over, it's done

But I still think that you're wrong

I think that it's just begun

And you've go on for too long

*also chorus*

I dont need you anymore

I'm fine being left alone

Thought I needed you before

Now i'm better on my own

Every little thing you do

Every little thing you've said

So little of it is true

You were messing with my head

*chorus*

You tried to bring me down

You tried to tear me apart

But I guess you finaly found

You didn't know where to start

*chorus*

(end)

think about that

shadowstich

well hello
im at school right now
i dont have time to type
but im determened to type something everyday
peace
i might write later
love luck and lollipops
shadowstich

do you remember when we talked for hours on end?

ive been thinking of this one guy, and remembering one day we talked for 3 hours on the phone and then 5 hours on msn. his sister thought i was his girlfriend O.o and could scream REALLY loud.what did we talk about. anything... about 4 hours was us playing truth. it really makes me care about him, remembering that.

for any of you. challenge me to a game of truth, or the awkward game. but never ask things you dont want to know

well i must be off sadly before saying everything i want to say

i love you all

love luck and lollipops

shadowstich

wow... this is a few days in a row

well i have been thinking again. i do that a lot these days.

have you ever just zoned out, pretty much gone no where in your mind, your not thinking, no anything. its relaxing going nowhere.

maybe its just me.

well

i cant put everything down but here's something

recently i tried talking to this guy. and i found out he is really amazing.

he and i talked for a while, i found myself trusting him a lot, which is weird.

because the last few guys i trusted with everything, stabbed me in the back, told me i was stupid and pathetic.

i hope he doesn't do the same, but i don't think he will.

he seems like one of those rare guys who is amazing, and not gay.

i don't know. but because of him, and dancer boy (I'm not putting names, because both of you know who you are, horn boy and dancer boy.and i only know one guy horn, and one dancer, who taught me a bit) but both of you have really helped me feel better. made me happy.

another thing i realised... I've changed...

i had a friend ask my why i was so Happy, thinking i was asked out or something. i don't think i was that kind of person, and I'm not anymore.

and i had another friend ask me if i was drunk just because i was feeling amazing.

wow...

well i must bath the dog.

love luck and lollipops

shadowstich

ps. your not the boss of me now, your not the boss of me now, your not the boss of me now and your not so big. yeah they might be giants

why does it need a title. a title usually means its about something specific

well here i am. sitting at the computer. wow how interesting

i have been thinking about what to write in here. and don't know.



when i started grade 10, i thought i would try and get a boyfriend.

I've been thinking about that a lot, and i have realised something. there is only one guy i can actually see me dating. why only the one? because i want to be in a relationship where it means something, where whoever i choose to give my heart to will do the same in return. I've been in a relationship in the past, and it didn't work. it wrecked our friendship, and everything felt wrong.
i don't want to rush into a relationship. i want to get to know them first. i need to be able to trust them. and i need them to trust me back.
for me relationships are not the most important thing to me. friendship is.

i was wondering why so many songs on the radio are about love. its because love is one of the strongest emotions one can feel. but in my opinion, you need to feel something before you can write about it. that's probably why i suck at writing love songs.

well that's enough about love.
hmm... thinking, thinking...
i have been having a lot of fun with electronics. last night i took apart my stereo, as it was broken, and could not be fixed. it reminds me of teem work. a gear was broken in my stereo, and it stopped working. it could still turn on, but it would not read cd's. in team work, we all have to do our part, help others, if someone stops doing their part, it will all fall apart. so we all have to work together.

well that's all i have time to put right now
peace
shadowstich

I have a lot going on in my head right now. So i'm just going to jot it down

Some thing I found really important to me is truth
For me its better to know the truth right away, and then be lied to for a long time, then finally they tell you the truth, and you feel like someone has stabbed you in the stomach.
You are left wondering what you did wrong, but the truth is simple
They never really liked you in the first place.
So just tell the truth. People can change
For me, some people didn’t like how i’m always asking questions, trying to figure things out.
They got so sick of me doing so, and finally just told me they didn’t like me
When you really trust someone and they tell you they don’t like you. That hurts
So for all of you people who are lying to your friends, or me, tell them how you feel.
But don’t just shove them away. Help them fix it or try to understand why they are like that.


Something I wish we all still had. Is the innocence we felt as little kids.
In our opinions, everyone were friends yet to be made.
It didn't mater who liked who, how people dressed, race, religion, or anything else that is so frequently attacked now.
We would just go up to other kids, say hi, and start playing.
I really miss that.
I think the best world leaders, would be kids.
They have no taste for war, they won’t kill others just to get something, and people would probably get along a lot better.

Have you ever just sat down in the grass and looked at the stars?
The best place to star gaze is Temagami.
You can see millions of stars
And the lake looks really nice too.
Everyone should take a while, sit back, and watch the world go by.
We are constantly rushing a round.
I bet that if all of the world leaders took a bit of time every day to appreciate the nature around them, there would be less pollution. As who can destroy something as amazing as the earth.

I really wonder if anyone will ever read this?
if anyone will ever care.
one of the reasons i am doing this is to let you know about me.
let you understand me.
not everything can be said face to face.
have you ever found that talking to someone on msn is so much easier to do then in person?
if you start typing something, you can erase it before you send it,
you cant take back what you have said

we have way too much violence on TV, and videogames
we become used to it. like it's just another thing in everyday life
there is a good reason I am affected by death so strongly.
i don’t watch the news, or play violent videogames.
I don’t watch movies that have death in them
I do read a lot of war books, but only because I want to know what its like, without knowing that when someone dies, they are dead.
If someone in a book dies, it’s just a book. But in real life. They were someone.
So war sickens me, violence makes me sad, and death makes me feel empty and sick.
I want to save them, I want to tell them they will be fine, but I can’t. Because they are dead.


Well that’s enough ranting for now
shadowstich

<(^.^)>

Well it’s me again.

I probably won’t be writing every day. As I have a life.

Random thought

Why is love what we feel in our heart.

All the heart does is supply oxygen to your body.

Wow that was random



No mater how hard things get

They will always get better.

So never give up

Love luck and lollipops

shadowstich

hey everyone

well this is my blog
I know my name here is shadowstich. if you are reading this you probably know me and will know who this is.
everyone needs a way to vent emotions. or they will just build up and explode. when your happy, it usually freaks people out if your overly happy
if your sad you usually get a mental break down
some people use diaries. I am going to use a blog
but what to write about
well I have recently learned a few things
just because one guy you trust, tears you apart and stabs you in the back, does not mean they are all like that.
and don’t do martial arts before a band test

Well there are a few things i think you should know about me
I do martial arts and i am quite strong
I am adhd(Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)
i play French horn
i write songs and stories
i may start talking in poetry, as i have fun rhyming
im a book worm
im good at dance dance revolution

if you want to know anything else. just ask.

i am going to try and keep this blog optimistic

i may post songs on here, or quote things

i must be to bed now
good night all/any who read this.
shadowstich