well im back in the band room...
i now have 2 videos of me singing on youtube, both need to be re-done
cause one is pure crap
and the other could be way better
i dont know whether i should kill a friend or thank him
i happen to like my friend's (now known as S) friend (known now as A)
(neither of these names have come up before i dont think)
anyways... i asked S who is friends with A if i'd ever have a chance with A
s didnt know,
so i brilliantly asked him to ask A in a way that didn't reveal my feelings
he said he would
but i think there was major Miss-communication
and he proceeded to ask A out for me
not a bad thing
but thankfully A said no, as he doesnt really know me.
im not looking for a relationship right now
and my next one, i plan to go slowly with, as i've finally learned from my mistakes.

i didnt make the talent show
and im making some changes to the song (just the music)


this is what they said

Hey shadowstich, I apologize if person 1 was really rude to you today, and even if I was too, I am sorry. A lot was going on so I wasn't really paying attention. So basically, because you didn't show up, and because we were really tight on our schedule and we were not certain whether or not you were prepared, it was a unanimous decision to not have you be a performer for the talent show. We're really sorry shadowstich. It was a really hard decision, and we'd like to thank you for getting the courage and coming out to sing for us. Keep on writing those wonderful songs!


atleast they were nice about it

ive been slightly (or more then slightly) bitter about not making it
but what doesn't kill me will make me stronger.
this gives me more time to learn how to use the program and make my music better
and write new songs


with my songwriting, ive been having a lot of difficulty,as with being no longer depressed, depressing songs are hard to right
and i suck at happy or love songs

my next song is in the making, but it will take some time.

ive realised something
im not friends with anyone i was friends with in junior high who is in my school now
H,Sa,J, were not really friends at that point
and well... most will know i only really had Em, random druggies, and Er (who is now in ontario) and Am(who is in abe)
but now i have new friends, who i feel as if i belong with them.

altho sometimes i wonder if some people do consider me friends, or if they dont want to hurt me by telling me to go away, i just wish i knew the answer.

ive had people i thought were friends end up hating me...
not the most fun feeling and awkward, as one of the people... well i train with her dad, who knows nothing of the fight.

thankfully i was able to spar last night, and altho i am very sore, im calm, and not about to blow up, which ive been at the brink of doing. and after the weekend i had... id say its understandable

but anyways

im off
shadowstich