finally on this again.
and i have so much to say.
this year is so different
i went to the cliffs yesterday
and i know i promised i wouldn't go alone
i went with Zuli.
i doubt he realized how much that meant to me.
the view is amazing
and i felt so butch in his jacket.
i wasn't drawn to it the same way i once was
it was nice
and i needed to go there
i could try forever to explain it to you
or i could just let you try and figure it out
ive changed a lot since this year begun.
new friends.
im a different person
i still love to sing
and yes i still sing with the British accent
i still play french horn
but i no longer blast away at it like i used to. now i actually play
i still write songs, but not so dark
i still talk to much
im sick of the game of truth... like seriously sick of it...
if you want to know something ASK.
i only started it because i wanted to get to know people better, but was too shy to ask directly
i write stories now.
i know how frajile life is
see my previous post
that made my view of life change so much
it shwed me how fragile life really is.
that could be why i needed to go there.
i no longer see my life ending before im 20
i no longer feel the need to inflict pain on myself
i like taking pictures with cameras... i just wish that people could see beauty in random places.
im still in martial arts
and hopefully soon purple...
im 1/4th past prequal, and know another 2/4 a lot better now.
i still dont like eating with your group
i dont feel comfortable around them
i like different things
your lunch time group has great people, but i dont know them, and they DONT know me
they never did.
im still slightly paronoid that you dont see me as a friend
but im getting over that.
if any one wants to talk to me do so
just because i dont go out of my way to talk to you doesnt mean im avoiding you, it just means im giving you space, but i wuld be happy to talk to you if you wanted


well this has stuff to random people, who read this, but still...


i still rant on...

i look forward to next year.
best thing about this year
band